By Your Side
by HolbyFanKat
Summary: Prompt: Alex went back on tour after she left Holby. Bernie's been back for 2 months, she's happy with Serena who has forgiven her for leaving. A letter arrives. Alex is dead. Serena and Bernie attend the funeral which requires Bernie to wear her uniform.


**Here's another Berena one shot for you. Slightly shorter this time. This prompt was sent to me anonymously on tumblr and I just love it! Please review. Prompts always welcome. Kat xx**

Alex went back on tour after she left Holby. Bernie's been back for 2 months, she's happy with Serena who has forgiven her for leaving. A letter arrives. (I've changed it to phone call, sorry) Alex is dead. Serena and Bernie attend the funeral which requires Bernie to wear her uniform.

Serena had been looking for Bernie on the ward for ages. Everyone she asked had said they hadn't seen her for hours. She was about to give up and ring her when she saw the light on in their office. She didn't know why she hadn't thought to look there first. Despite it being her own office, she knocked softly before entering. The first thing she saw was her girlfriend sat in her office chair with her head on the desk. "Bernie?" She spoke softly. "Are you alright? No one has seen you for ages." When all she got in reply was a groan she moved closer. "Hey what's wrong?"

Slowly, her head rose from the table. "I just got a phone call from an old friend from the army."

"Right?" This instantly made her worry. She couldn't deal with Bernie going out there again. A few months in the Ukraine had been bad enough but having to worry about whether she was even alive would push her over the edge.

"It's Alex." She choked out.

The worry was replaced with jealousy. "Alex rang you? What did she want?"

She shook her head slowly. "No. After she left here she went back to Afghanistan. A few days ago…She was traveling back to base and their truck hit an IED. She…I… I wasn't there to save her this time." She couldn't help but burst into tears. Alex was gone. The woman she once thought was the love of her life and she was never going to see her again.

Serena quickly moved to wrap her arms around her shoulders. "Oh Bernie. You're OK, I'm here."

"But she isn't is she? She isn't ok. And she'll never be here. She… We parted on such bad terms. What if she thinks I thought badly of her? What if she thought badly of me?" The tears were in full flow and try as she might she couldn't stop it.

She'd never seen her like this before. "Shh I know. You loved each other and whatever there is between us I know that never went away. You both hurt each other but I'm sure her last thoughts included how happy you were together. She might be gone but you'll never forget her."

"I am so happy with you Serena, don't think I'm not. But she's still so important to me." She rested her head on her shoulder.

"Of course, she was the first woman you fell in love with, she helped you discover who you were. I understand that more than anyone." She stroked her hair softly. "This is going to be hard but I'm here for you through all of it. I promise."

"Thank you. The funeral is next week, will you come with me." She wiped at her tears with her hands.

"Of course I will. I would never let you go alone."

"You'll get to see me in my full uniform." A smirk tried to break through the tears.

She chuckled softly. "Now that is something I've been wanting to see for a long time." She placed a light kiss on her head. "Why don't you go home, I'll cover for you."

"No, I don't want to be alone." She spoke quietly, as if she was afraid to admit it. "Can I stay in here until you finish your shift. And would you mind if I came over tonight."

"Of course you can. You know you're welcome at my house anytime, especially in a situation like this." She leant over to her own desk, trying not to disturb the woman resting on her shoulder too much, and got her box of tissues to pass to her. "I won't be long. Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No I'll be alright." The other woman got up to leave. "Serena." She called, causing her to stop and look around. "Thank you." It was almost a whisper.

She nodded once before exiting the office.

The next week came and along with it, the funeral. Serena thought her heart had stopped when she saw Bernie in her full military uniform. She'd thought about it a lot but it was so much better than she had imagined. She tried not to be too happy when she was introduced to all of Bernie's army colleagues as 'Serena Campbell, my girlfriend.' She knew how difficult the day was for Bernie. Relationships whilst on tour were strictly forbidden so theirs had been kept secret. This meant no one knew quite how much the blonde was hurting. The biggest struggle had been when Alex's family didn't even know who she was. Throughout the whole service and wake Serena hadn't left her side once, hands tightly clutched together. She'd even whispered a quiet "I love you" into Bernie's ear as Alex's coffin was lowered into the ground but she wasn't sure if she'd even heard.

When everyone else had left the cemetery, they stayed behind so Bernie could say a proper goodbye.

Serena stood back to give her some privacy. She watched as her girlfriend knelt at the grave and sobbed, talking quietly to the headstone. She waited a while until she couldn't stand it anymore. Rushing forward, she took her into her arms. Shh'ing and rocking until the tears stopped.

They followed on to the wake but didn't stay long. Just long enough for Bernie to catch up with her old friends. They promised to all meet up soon, under happier circumstances, so they could get to know Serena properly.

They went back to Serena's house and her and Jason looked after her all evening. The night ended with Bernie falling asleep in Serena's arms on the sofa, exhausted from all the tears and emotions. Jason helped her carry her up the stairs to bed where the two women cuddled up tightly until the alarm went off the next morning.


End file.
